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As I rub cortisone on my sting this morning, I can’t help but hear an announcer in my head say “and coming up, we have Tom, a man who ran into one of dumbest creatures on earth and lived to tell the story.” Yep, that’s right, I was out surfing this weekend when I ran into a Portuguese Man O’War. I had been out for over an hour and half, surfing some decent waist high surf. On this paddle out, I ducked under the white water, and I felt it sting my back. I sat up quickly and tried to remove the tentacles to stop the sting as quickly as possible. But, it was too late. It got my back, my chest, my arm and my leg in one fatal swoop.Of course, growing up in Florida surfing, this was not the first time I’ve been stung. But never have I been stung so much. I made my way in & tried to keep calm as I approached Marisha, who was sunning on the beach. We moved to the truck quickly, where I rinsed off with fresh water and toweled the area. I couldn’t see my back, but she said it was bad. We tried to find a lifeguard to get some advice and see if I should seek medical attention, but no luck. Instead, we called her grandfather whose a doctor and he told me to get some meat tenderizer and apply that. So, we ran to Publix.

At this point, the pain was getting very bad. I was constantly clenching my fist trying to fight off the pain and remain clam. We hurried into Publix and found the tenderizer, plus I grabbed a few water bottles and a thing of Extra Strength Tylenol. By now, my back was getting very tired and sore from the muscles contracting, and it was hurting to stand. We stood in line, and watched the nice bag man take his time bagging the groceries for this old woman. ****I had to hold back, but I wanted to scream by this point*** By the time we bought the stuff, I ran outside and applied the paste and took the Tylenol. Not much relief. It hurt to sit or stand, but I tried my best to calm down. After about 10 minutes, I could tell something was starting to work. I told Marisha to start driving home, and I worked on calming myself down. By the time we got back to Orlando, I was feeling better.

Later that night, I decided Alcohol was the best defense, as I treated myself to a New York Strip Steak at TGI Fridays. Marisha told me she was worried I was going to pass out from pain in Publix. Thankfully, that never happened. Let the itching begin!